A mishmash post in which I rank the 2023 holiday experience!
Presents
My Presents:
Much beloved platonic soulmate Erika got me a set of sarcastic oven mitts (yes, oven mitts can be sarcastic), and a necklace with a little stack of books on it. Both of these gifts are delightful; my daughter C.N. certainly thought so, since she stole the oven mitts immediately. She looked like she was wearing pink Hulk hands, it was great
My much beloved husband gave me an Apple air tag. This is a utilitarian gift, but since I have the very first world problem of C.N. constantly stealing my keys and putting them in weird places, I appreciated it. Hilariously, I bought my husband the exact same present for almost the exact same reason (he blames the kid, but at least half of the time he’s the one at fault when it comes to his missing keys. Boyfriend is a mess).
C.N.’s Presents
C.N. is two and a half, so she’s right at that age where she kind of sort of understands Christmas (very kind of, emphasis on sort of). She’s an extremely careful little girl who does not enjoy destroying things, so she was not down for ripping open boxes—mama had to do that for her. But once they were open, she was stoked about her new belongings. Which were, in descending order of C.N.-perceived awesomeness:
Duplo cars from the movie Cars: C.N. loves these movies for reasons I don’t fully understand, so Erika got her this set. She loves it and is so obsessed with the Lightning McQueen car that she routinely gives it hugs and kisses and asks to sleep with it at night. Well-played, Erika. Well-played.
Sesame Street CD: My sister got her a set of Sesame Street CDs, and they are both the best and the worst gift for me as the parent. They’re the best because C.N. asks for “Elmo song!” a million times a day, which keeps her from asking for actual Sesame Street and driving up her screen time. But they’re also the worst, because I have to listen to that damn CD a million times a day. The upside: As a parent, I am now mostly-dead to the pain of repetition. But even for me, it still smarts a little
Various educational toys: My mom and I got her a bunch of educational toys, which she kind of sort of played with for a few minutes apiece. Success?
Stuffed animals: C.N. is extremely picky about her stuffed animals and did not vibe with either the stuffed horse or stuffed kitty that she received. She did, however, scream “NEIGH!” into the horse’s face the other night, so maybe she’s warming up to him?
Erika’s gift
I tried to regift Erika a yodeling pickle I got stuck with because of a white elephant, but she rudely refused to take it home with her. What an ingrate!
The Food
For Christmas Eve, I made three types of cookies and a riff on zuppa Toscana, with Danish Oat Loaf on the side. I also set out a metric fuckton of cheese and crackers, which everyone agreed later were not needed. Too bad, I fucking love girl dinner, but I’ve been overruled.
Anyway, the cookies were basic bitch chocolate chip (with extra chocolate chips, per Erika’s demands), basic bitch sugar, and this ginger cookie that is FUCKING AMAZING and has no reason to go as hard as it does.
The soup is super simple, but it is fucking delicious, so here is the recipe if you’re interested:
2 boxes chicken broth
1 package sweet Italian sausage
1 bunch kale
1-2 carrots, depending on size
1 package dried tortellini
Cook the sausage without casings, then wilt the kale in the sausage for flavor. Add the kale, sausage, diced carrot and both boxes of broth to a slow cooker and cook on low heat for eight hours or on high for four. 10-15 minutes before serving, add tortellini. Enjoy!
Since Christmas Eve covered my Italian and Danish heritage, I decided that Christmas Day should be Taiwanese to honor my husband’s side. So I made Lu Rou Fan (slow-cooked pork belly), as well as this eggplant recipe, this Chinese broccoli (gai lan) recipe, and this scallion pancake recipe. The only thing that didn’t really turn out well were the pancakes: They were edible—most pancakes are—but I didn’t roll them thin enough. Everything else was fantastic, though.
(Shoutout to the website Cooking in Chinglish, which I don’t think is being updated anymore, but is an amazing resource for simple Taiwanese recipes that anyone with determination and access to 99 Ranch can make.)
Priceless Moment
When my dad’s full and lustrous beard was revealed on a Zoom call, and C.N. exclaimed, “Santa!”
All in all, it was a great holiday, even if Erika didn’t take that goddamn pickle home. Happy New Year!